The Ballad of the Bloke

The bloke stood in the garden shed,
surrounded by his things,
It was a Sunday morning and the missus had had a whinge.
"You've got to clear that clutter out
and make it clean and neat,
How you can find a thing in there has really got me beat!"

He pondered on his treasures,
no-one really understood,
The years he’d been collecting them,
the screws and bits of wood,
The cut off length of guttering from when he fixed the roof,
The paint from the youngest's bedroom
and for making the boat waterproof.
Piled up in the corner were the things that he would fix,
The rocking horse,
the garden gnome,
the mixer that wouldn't mix,
The beta video player,
a classic from the past,
The motor from the lawnmower,
with new valves it should last.
He loved the missus dearly
and thought the kids were grouse,
But there were times when he'd go crazy
just to get out of the house.

His stuff was full of memories,
times spent with his mates,
Of beers and golf and bad advice
for hanging garden gates.

The bloke he sighed and scratched the dog,
his motivation low,
He thought about the places that
were no longer his alone;
The pub had turned to pokies,
his barber cut girls' hair,
The hardware shop sold textured paint
and offered child care.

"I need a place all of my own,
to which my mates can come.
Where I can keep the stuff I love,
and play and have some fun.
A special place for fellas, where a man can be a man,
A place for blokes to spend some time,"
away his fancies ran.

"I'll build a shop where all can come,
blokes both young and old,
To find the stuff that meets their needs,
stuff to have and hold.
There'll be gadgetry and gimmicks,
games and things of use,"
(And when your birthday comes around,
just let the sheila loose.)
"I'll get pocket knives and coffee mugs,
and Star Wars games of chess,
Model cars, books on Mars and puzzles hard to guess.
There'll be bugs in boxes, wintersockses, robots made of tin,
Telescopes and knotting ropes,
a case to put things in."

The bloke sat down and poked the dog,
snoring at the door,
His mighty plan was underway,
but there was one thing more,
What could he call this blokey store,
a name both strong and tough,
His eyes lit up,
loud he exclaimed,
"I'll call it Blokey Stuff!"

So if you care to take a walk,
down Parramatta way,
You'll find this shop tucked down
the side of Civic's old Arcade.
There’ll be outdoors stuff and indoors stuff and very friendly folk,
But if you're really lucky,
you just might meet The Bloke.

Blokey Stuff, 2003